bleach funnys
by GoldenBug Prime
Summary: random stories of bleach
1. mirror

"Die kurosaki Ichigo"

Gin Ichimaru kicked Ichigo in the ribs, cracking three of them. He dodges zangetsu as Nel tossed it to Ichigo who swung at him. Gin kicked the young green haired girl in the face causing Nel to fly back into Jessica and Geniva.

"Crap!" Jessica dodged letting Nel's head hit Geniva's face. "You're supposed to duck, Baka."

"Ugh, that hurts." was the reply.

Orihime ran to heal the blooded up girls. Ichigo felt anger whip at his sister-like friend and girlfriend's bloody sight. Both girls were too weak to stand up, Renji and Rukia were trying to stop Momo from stabbing the retreating Toshiro. Gin backed handed the young captain, who was fueled by anger of seeing his bloody friend.

"You bastard." Ichigo growled, letting out his spiritual energy go. "I'm going to kick your ass."

Quickly grabbing his sword, running through his dad and Aizen's fight than slashed at Gin's throat. Gin stopped his attack just in time. Ichigo slashed at any opening the ex-captain had.

"Nee, Ichigo-chan is scary." Gin squealed girlishly.

Everyone in the room stopped at what they were doing to stare at Gin. Even Aizen stopped his battle to see what was going on.

"I'm scary?" Ichigo asked raising a brow.

"Yes" Gin chirped happily.

"Me." Ichigo pointed to himself.

"Uh-huh." Gin nodded.

The death berry dropped out of his stance and gave the smiling man a droll stare. "You gotta be-Me scary? Have you ever looked in the mirror lately?"

Aizen raised a brow at the scene before him. _'Gin thinks Ichigo is scary? How sad.' _Both of the older shinigami thought. Jessica and Geniva shared a look. Both girls grin and whispered to each other.

"Jerry! Jerry!" They cheered.

The scene quickly changed to a room with a stage and audiences. Rukia had a microphone in her hands as jerry from the dramic show call The Jerry Springer stands next to her. Toshiro and Renji were dress up in security outfit.

"Yeah like this is for Gin." Rukia flipped her hair. "Haven't you like ever looked in a like mirror?"

"Nope." Gin pointed at Aizen. "Lord Aizen never puts up mirrors."

Everyone turned to Aizen and threw rotten fruit at him. He was then booed of the stage. Geniva then jumped up to stop Toshiro from killing the annoying Jerry.

"If Gin *Grunt* saw him *grunt* self." She then threw Toshiro into the chair. "Knock it off Toshi. Anyway, why don't we just give Gin a mirror?"

Gin looked into the mirror that Jessica held and died from the horror that was his face. Jerry then turn to the camera and sigh.

"Tune in next time to see who Toshiro ends up with. Momo or Geniva? Next time on The Jerry Springer Show."


	2. backmail

Declaimer: I don't own bleach because if I did ill never share Toshiro! Mahahahaha

Ichigo: she lost it

Rangiku(pops up): I know, huh!

Me(jumps in shock):where the hell did you come from?

Rangiku(shrugs):don't know but I am hiding from captain. I spilled sake on his paper.

Me(starts laughing): crazy head

Ichigo(scowling): just start the story.

Ran & me: fine, fine

"DAMNIT JESSICA! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"

Geniva watching as a red faced boy chase after the said female. She was angry as well but kept her cool unlike a certain captain. She was use to being tease by her black haired friend. Geniva sweat at the sight of the twisted humor in the girl's eyes. Jessica let out a laugh as she dodged her white haired friend's blade. She could not help but tease the young captain.

"Is that all you got? I can't believe you're the captain of squad ten." She taunted.

"Jessica you bitch!: The boy growled. "Give me that picture!"

"No way Toshiro." Jessica jumped out of the swinging sword way. "This is perfect blackmail."

Geniva continue to watch as the second and fourth seat sat next to her. Matsumoto Rangiku and Kurosaki Ichigo looked at the scene before them. Both soul reaper shared a look with each other before taking a seat next to their third seat.

"Um…what's going on?" Ichigo asked as Toshiro tried to slice Jessica.

Geniva opened her mouth to answer then she was cut off by a loud voice. "What the hell's going on here?"

Everyone turned to see Kylie with her hands on her hips. Noely was by her side, both looking at them with a raised brow. Noely took a seat next to the orange haired boy as she watched the new captain of squad five walked to her friends. Kylie looked at them annoyed but saw what they were fighting for. It was a picture that was taken this morning by a certain shinigami. _'You_

_gotta be kidding me!' _Kylie thought.

"Jessica, just hand over the picture." Kylie sighed. "I really don't want to her hear him whined."

"Yeah-hey wait a minute." Toshiro said.

"Toshiro you idiot." Jessica snickered.

Ichigo as he watched his crush dodge a hit then turned to Geniva. "They're fighting over a silly picture? Isn't that kind of stupid, Jenny?"

"Not if the picture is damning." Geniva got up and hit Ichigo on the head. "And my name is Geniva! Not jenny, baka."

"Why you little-" Ichigo growled.

Geniva rolled her eyes at the other soul reaper and pulled out her sword. She smirked at the sight of the older teen flinching. 'That'll teach that dumb-ass strawberry to mess with me.' she turn to the fight.

"Blaze across the stars! Let's burn, Logi!"

Fire shot out of her sword and burned the troublesome picture. Everyone looked at Geniva dumb founded. Jessica let her head dropped and sighed.

"Damnit, I paid good money for those." She pouted. "Should have listen to Momo when she gave it to me. 'Don't let shiro or Geniva see it.' Dang it."

Both Toshiro and Geniva right eye twitched. Everyone watched as the dragon and fox storm out. Both mumbling about getting back at a certain plum. Kylie patted Jessica's back nodding her head.

"Oh well…at least I have this!" The black haired girl pulled out four more pictures. "Perfect sister blackmail."

Everyone took one look at the pictures and burst out laughing. On each picture had both Toshiro and Geniva in big, poofy and bright colored dresses.

I hoped you like it. Please review.


End file.
